in pursuit of good coitus...no i mean good coitus

i am convinced that all women need good sex, period. most women, however, don't get it. i've had really amazing sex in my life. i've had sex so good that i almost never want to have sex again for fear that i will feel as though i am cheating myself by having "just alright" sex. what if the next man isn't as good as or better than the best man. is it worth my time to try to find out? why is it that the best man isn't the right man? the best man was good, really good. better than great. he had a really nice penis. a really, really nice one. i have never seen or felt a penis as heavy as his.his penis wouldn't even rise, it was so heavy. i'm not trying to ve vulgar. not really. this is like an ode. and ode to his penis. i want to have his penis all the time, everyday. i've never truly enjoyed fellatio as much as i like performing it on him. my mouth barely goes half way down his shaft before i'm gagging. i have a really small mouth and my jaws begin to hurt after a while. but here's the kicker...i don't want to stop. it's almost like i can't stop. then, i feel like i have to thank the penis for the work it has done, does do, and will continue to do, so i suck it just a little bit more. i love his penis. i love it. the sex is so good, i would be worth marrying him just because i know i would have really good sex on the regular. that is why i am convinced that people who say that sex cannot make up for a lack of friendship in marriage haven't had good sex. so this post really has to do with him - the new one. what if his sex isn't as good as the other one's sex. mc's was the best. what if mr. hawkins isn't hitting at anything? wouldn't that be the worst. it hurts my feelings to think about it. i must say that it strange to have a man really want to get to know me. it's hard to decide between the two of them. i don't really even know if i have that choice. but anyway. back to him - the new one. i didn't know how very bad the movie showgirls actually was. now i know. anyhoo...so mr. hawkins...
if he were closer to my age, i wouldn't feel so bad using him for sex. however, him being younger puts him in a whole other category. i don' t want to hurt him. and besides, what if he cannot perform in the bedroom? that would make me so very unhappy. he likes to talk during sex...that's such a turn on. he told me so. he asked his ex in bed if the man she had cheated on him with was better than him. she said no. the way she's acting now, though, she wouldn't have lied about it. but then again, if it were truly the bomb, she wouldn't be acting the way that she is. she'd be trying to get back with him, dying to let him hit it. he's so much fun too. he's like a little kid. that's because he is a little kid.

i feel pretty good right now.

so back to mc. oh lord have mercy. he is such a good fu@%. he's a man that i truly respect. i just know that we will never be together. that makes me sad. i love being with him. it's not because of the sex, although that is a very big of it. he is simply fun to be around. gotta go home now. i'll post a little later on.